Marriage, Part 1

Peter surprised me on Saturday night with a date to one of my favorite restaurants followed by a concert to one of my favorite artists (with super close seats might I add).  He had purchased the tickets 3 months ago and was dying to tell me.  It was a magical night.  It's amazing how much more you appreciate those kinds of nights once you have children because they don't happen as easily or as often. You almost feel giddy just to be out and alone. 

But marriage isn't always fancy dinners or dates.  It's hard, painful and lonely at times.  It requires an incredible amount of character, growth, humility and dying to self.  It's impossible without a force or motivation bigger than you or your spouse. 

I grew up in a Christian home where I heard all of these things and was prepared for marriage to be hard.  But I had still bought the lie that "Surely it shouldn't be this hard".  When we struggled and hit a point of wondering if our marriage would make it, I wrestled with guilt and thinking that I must have done something wrong or married the wrong person for this to be happening.  I doubted because of it.  When Jesus began to redeem our marriage, he finally broke through my lies and freed me from the accompanying guilt.  He showed me that marriage can't make it without Him being the driving force.  I realized that marriage in general is a war and that's okay.  There is a real force at work in our world to destroy marriages and everything they represent.  Marriage is supposed to be a glory to God and represents His relationship with us.  Only in our brokeness and Jesus' redeeming work is it a glory to Him therefore I should rejoice in it instead of feeling guilt and shame.  This freed me to let go and let Jesus be front and center of our story.  I cannot tell others of the amazing, redeeming work He has done for us if I do not also share the brokeness.  He has given me much to praise Him for so I gladly share what I used to be too ashamed and guilt ridden to even consider telling anyone. 


I write this to encourage anyone out there who is struggling and feeling guilty or wrong about it.    You are not alone.  I have been there and have come out on the other side, walking with Jesus and Peter.  If He can change our marriage in the ways that He has, then He can certainly do the same for you.  There is no shame in brokeness and coming to the end of yourself.  In fact, it's a beautiful place to be because it allows Him to create something new and even more beautiful than you had before.  Go to Him.  It is so worth it.


"This is my story, this is my song:  praising my Savior all the day long.  This is my story, this is my song:  praising my Savior all the day long."


And so I share our story....

(To be Continued)